Touch the People you Love

Touch...we take for granted how much we actually need to feel connected to the people we care for -- I'm not just talking about sharing common interests but I'm referring to a physical one. Think about it, for most people we love to touch the ones that mean something to us (yes that sounds perverted but just stay with me). Remember that friend of yours you ran into on the weekend? Didn't you give them a hug even though you saw them recently? Or what about that associate you rely on for work. Didn't you shake their hand even though you may not be too fond of them? Lets not forget your lovers. At the very least I know you kiss them. Touch has a grounding effect, reassuring us that the person in front of us is real and we accept them in some way. 

When I refer to acceptance I'm saying that the person is someone we consider or regard in some way (yes, you may not like the person but you can respect what they do or need something from them). The magnitude of the touch indicates how important the person is to us or how much we need to feel anchored by them. Look at the way you hug an acquaintance  versus a close friend -- in the case of the former the hug is often brief with as little contact as possible (in essence being polite) and in the case of the later the embrace is longer with more parts of the bodies touching. Lovers tend to have no barriers when it comes to touch (otherwise they wouldn't have sex) but then there are degrees of closeness there as well -- for example a one night stand will involve little to no kissing as well as condom use (generally) where as committed couples often opt for more intimate skin to skin approach with an inclusion of oral sex (however variants do occur the the engagement of some touches will indicate intensity of attraction).

Think about how it feels to touch people you care for. It is reassuring and provides a euphoric feeling that calms you and even seems to reduce the overall stress you are experiencing at a given moment (I see you drifting off thinking about a lover, come back dammit!). Touch provides a sense of object permanence (knowing the person is real, in good health and that we are of a similar mindset). I would challenge you to not touch anyone for a week just so you can see how much your anxiety levels increase but that wouldn't be a fun experiment at at all! Instead I urge you all to show affection to the people you love, help them relax and assure them you are there for them.