Sitting Sympathetically vs Acting Empathetically

I was tearing through a book this week and a portion of it stuck with me. It was basically saying that when we sympathise with someone we sit there and wallow with them -- we begin to simulate their emotional state and essentially jump in the hole that they feel stuck in. But when we empathise with some one we offer them solutions -- we become the rescuer, the person with the rope who can pull them out of the hole they are in.

Now most people prefer the sympathiser since they join them in their pity party... the person who only provides sympathy looks like an equal to the person who is suffering. They are non threatening, thus they are welcome to be in the company of the sufferer.

The empathiser seems like the busy body, the goody too shoe! They are that person who has their ish together and seems too be casting judgement (from the view of the sufferer anyway). Best results might come from a sympathetic-empathiser approach -- kinda like getting in the hole with the sufferer but setting up the rope before you go down or sitting at the edge of the hole to hear their story as well as how they feel then offering them a hand up.

So the next time someone comes to you with their pity party take a moment to ask yourself if you are offering them sympathy or empathy. Personally, I'd want to see them get out of the hole. But what do you want?