Birthdays...Yay.

That time of your life that marks another year passing you buy, your birthday. This is supposed to be a special time of the year where you appreciate your life on this planet, the people that have made life worth living and the fond memories you've created...Or you could be lamenting you stupid mistakes, insisting that you have done nothing but wasted time on this planet or focus on that which you have yet to accomplish. If I'm completely honest I'm teetering somewhere in the middle (yeah, my birthday soon approaches...clear the yard, Old man walking!) and its honestly maddening!

My life has been more than enjoyable, but theres so much I want to do. There are amazing people around me whom I love very deeply (and I know they feel the same) but I feel as if I don't deserve them and I can't help but think of the people who are no longer apart of my journey (how I wish things ended on better terms). So many excellent memories divided by a multitude of fuck ups (whats a life without mistakes?). The pristine concept of pure idealism has slowly been tarnished by cynicism and degraded by fading hope -- but there are still some shiny bits left.

This is all akin to being on a beautiful beach where the sand is pristinely pink, soft to the touch with turquoise waters caressing the shoreline but somewhere there is a rancid pitfall hidden somewhere that you're afraid you will fall in -- dashing all hope upon it (too far maybe?). Birthdays are meant to be the happiest days of your life (at least that's always been my belief) but for that to happen you have to learn to forgive yourself for the negatives and repurpose yourself to correcting past mistakes as well as enjoying the moment.

This could all be the rantings of a man on the verge of growing older (well, it is actually...) but I know I have much to be thankful as well as more than a few regrets -- its a part of living, so one has to quit their bitching, get over it and do better (can you tell this is geared more towards me?)

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Musings aside, Happy birthday to me (two days early but why not?)!
Cheers.





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